Drunk bullet fluke

That's all for today folks

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That will glue a smirk on my face for a few days.

Heinzk's Fantastic Chess Adventures

OMG I haven't updated this Blog of my Fantastic Internet Chess Adventures in, like, eleven days.



It's mainly because I have concluded the current setup is going nowhere. I really have to stop posting my own games; it wasn't exactly what I had intended to do with this blog anyway. Who cares about these blitz flukes? I myself don't even care about them. I wanted to create a place that shelters some entertaining trolling; preferably involving chess pieces.

Blitz Games

After last week's lamenting over a terribly neat downhill Blitz graph, I netted +300 points in some 60 games and reached the (for me) most wonderful rating of 2501; actually playing fairly decent chess too.

Then I started playing Bullet again and dumped about 400 points there. (there are separate Blitz & Bullet ratings)

On Wednesday a nice Blitz challenge came in. I had intended not to play any more Blitz before I had returned to decent level of 1 minute chess... but of course I accepted, who wouldn't, and lost 0-3.

The first game was Rather Short

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In the second game, he played some suboptimal moves, while I came up with some reasonable moves and in the scramble could have reached a winning advantage. But I found myself unable to seize the opportunity...

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I have realized that a few of the weak points in my chess play are

1) the understanding of the "accumulation of pressure" -- I never seem to be able to win a game that way
2) the "creating of (counter)play" from nothing.

If you know of some study positions/material on these subjects feel free to help me out there.

The third game we played would suggest otherwise though; from a nothing going on pawn-down position I managed in some way to maneuver my pieces towards his king, very much obtaining the upper hand and I could have secured a draw at the very least... Deep Decimal Rybka gives it -3,871538334 at the summit. Of course I didn't and lost; I won't bother you with the game, enough of those games of mine on this blog already.

The Future of this Blog

So of course I have some ideas to troll more but I don't know if I will actually do something with them:

- never again post a game of mine
- the reasons why the Chess Tactics Server is so cool... mainly because I understand what's going on; should become some sort of tutorial; many examples/diagrams & explanations... http://chess.emrald.net
- the reasons why ChessTempo is so bad... mainly because I don't have a clue of what's going on; should have many examples & finger-pointing... http://chesstempo.com
- reviews of chess websites (geeky)
- Bullet chess and why I'm so bad it...
- the crazy high level at which chess is played, compared to other games...
- review of top chess players & how cool/uncool they are

I'm in a bit of a stretch because I am "hiding" here behind my nerdy internet alias while the things I would be writing about would aim at "real" instances. Maybe I should just write under my real name here but I don't feel like it.

The missed opportunity

While I was already thinking about writing something about bad chess, I played this game. White to play.

Yes, the amusing Qxg6+ mates in two. I only looked at it a move later.

Bad-ass chess

I was intending to write something about Bad Bullet Chess but it would inevitably lead to more examples from my own games. Maybe some other day.

Three Queens

In line with the recent Amber tournament I will give you a Whacky blindfold chess exercise:

White has three Queens. a2, b1, d1.
White also happens to have a King on the board; on e3.

Black has nothing but a bare-naked King on f6.

The exercise: how many Key moves does White have for a mate in two?

That's one difficult exercise for you, isn't it? I sure hope you'll try it.

Hover over here and click for the solution

That's it for now.

Stats are boring

I'm not a stats man, but the following picture sums up my weekend of i-Chess :-)

Nice Game + Nice Problem

I have been playing some damn good i-chess... at least, the numbers seem to imply I have been playing some damn good i-chess.

One minute to checkmate

After some yo-yoing, my bullet rating went up a hundred points... reaching dazzling heights.

I don't particularly remember anything of the chess...

In fact, of the thousands of bullet games I have played in my life I cannot say I remember a single moment.

Bullet is a nerdiness competition. And loads of fun.

Blitz

I have also played a handful of blitz games.
Probably I won't be able to retain the current rating level for long, as I'm really not all that strong while the 2200-2500 rating range is infected with guys that are about 2100-2350 in reality.
The following game gave enough reason to produce another Blog entry.

But in order to make a message for this blog, I also have to come up with some text to accompany the game; and as you can see, this writing part isn't my forte... ;-)

So just replay the game below. Click the > arrow button and you'll be fine.

The Spanish Torture

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Now let me show you a

Chess Problem

If you're good at chess you'll probably try solving it too.

This is a mate in two moves. White to move. Come on you can do it!!



By yet another composer of fame, William Anthony Shinkman... published in "Checkmate" in 1902.
Man that seems like a long time ago.

IGM scalp

IGM in 14 moves

Today's Heinzk Blog offers you a 2550+ FIDE rated Internet Grand Master from Iran biting the clicking dust.



The moves which led him to resignation are nothing much to be proud of though - I've played about the same opening trick vs. a p1200 before.
If I had advertised this one as "Heinzk vs. 1600"... you could've believed it too.

Still, a GM scalp of any sort is more than enough reason to celebrate in excess.

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I don't have anything else today, so I'll just give you guys another chess problem.
No mate in three because apparently those are too difficult for you wimps.

Mate in four

Composed by John Michael Rice; I believe he's the long-time editor of the Problemist magazine. He's good. This problem of his was published in 1995.
Hint: you'll need to consider all four possible promotions on a1.

Heinzk... loser!

Heinzk loses

Much less fun and much more bothersome than gloating over your fantastic wins, but these are games of chess that had me on the other side of the board... looking at your own mistakes is a lot less attractive than looking at the way you gloriously screw your opponents after they slip up.

When you replay these three little games, it can be hardly imagined that I don't lose nearly all of the games of Chess I decide to be part of. But the sad truth is that weaker chess players participate in bad games of chess the majority of the time... all the time in fact.

I had intended to replay these games anyway...
because I knew that apart from the bunch of nice scalps (collected in the previous blog msg),
the same opponents provided more than enough food for thought too.

So here I score 0.0/3.

Outwitted by a Fide Master from Slovenia

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So why did I lose this game?
1 - lack of ready opening knowledge & plans
2 - a strong opponent
3 - a very tricky position that had large possible movements too complicated for me to evaluate properly in a short amount of time... the board was a "minefield".
4 - in such jagged positions, it cannot reasonably be expected a guy like me never loses.
5 - I always seem to underestimate far advanced pawns - because, if all goes right, those rascals shouldn't be there anyway - and miss possible promotion maneuvers/tricks.

That about sums it up.

Nicely outplayed by an English IM

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Outclassed by an English Grandmaster

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Brrr... let's forget these fast. Here's a

Funky Chess Problem

White to move, mate in three. Composed by George Edward Carpenter, Checkmate 1903.

Hint: Good luck :-p

Another great scalp

Oh man I have played some nice games of Chess today!



Most of them against title holders -- because I am cherry-picking my opponents -- and I scored more or less break even.
I am happy to turn in some of my precious virtual e-rating points for a couple of FM/IM/GM whoopings though.

And the inevitable result is that I win some of them too -- and those are going straight to this blog ;-)

First I screw a Slovenian FM... in one of the best games that I've played lately. After that he beat me three times in a row though. Good player.

Then I catch an English IM with a dirty premove recapture trick (=> he thinks I just recaptured while in the meantime I sneakily set up a trap)

And to wrap it up, I get to play an English Grandmaster!

Of course, it may be somewhat unfair, for them it is just another game of Chess against some random newbie while I am all excited about the privilege of facing titled players and playing Full Force.

And I am only showing my wins here; I lost a bunch of games too, and rest assured they weren't pretty.

OK, ready? Here they come.

Slovenian FM

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The English IM

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The English GM

OK, then an English GM showed up. I sent him a challenge... and to my surprise he accepted!

Soon he won the first & the second game without much resistance...

I played opening variations I had never tried before, and he simply screwed me big time.

Lured into a false sense of security, he enters the third game.

I remember NM Dale's Groovy Advice and I grab a cheap internet win that will be cherished forever.

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After all this Chess violence, I almost forgot the...

Chess Problem

A nice "deep" keymove, and a good solving exercise. White to move & mate in three.



By Johann Nepomuk Berger, Frankfurter Rundschau 1887.
After any black move, White will have a simple check&checkmate-in-two. Except for one. What to do to have a mate in two prepared for that one?

Heinz is back

Starting today, the Heinz comic cartoon will reappear daily... now in the Dutch "Metro" newspaper.
Woohoo!

The horrible twomover

The following twomover is quite challenging, it takes many kicks.
Composed by Janos Kiss, Magyar Sakkvilag 1934. White to move and mate in two.



Take your time, don't give up. You will be rewarded by the solution - it is pretty.

Heinzk's crappy chess games part 573

I've played another game of Internet Clicking Chess today... too messy. The opening and middlegame don't progress in a smooth way at all, but my opponent messes up somewhere when I appear to be attacking, and I grab the win.

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A clear finish might be
61. ... Bb5 62. c6 Ba6 63. Kc7 Bb5 64. Kb7 Bd3 65. c7 Be4+ 66. Kb8

My 3 minute Blitz rating there is closing in on 2400... again... this can only mean one thing: the losing streak that brings me back under 2000 is very near. :-(
Ever since starting the filling of this Blog it's going quite OK though, which gives me the chance to play many games against strong opponents -- 2200+ FIDE is "strong" enough for me -- and I am enjoying the experience. The virtual "TPR" of the games I have posted is going through the roof !! ;-)